Author Archives: Nik Bronder

1st Annual Santa Pub Crawl.

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Last night Santa put on his old boots once again and went out on the town.

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There was a lot of Holiday Cheer spread as you can see in the pictures above. We used the Polaroid camera to devastating effect, pleasing many children along the way. Dan dressed as a complete mantle, with stocking hung with care and filled with candy. We’re thinking next year he needs a second stocking with coal to hand out to assholes. The night was rather successful, besides a dispute with Jesus just about everyone else was pretty pleased with Santa.

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One might not take Ted for the dancing type but they would be sorely mistake. I pretty sure he danced with more women last night than Santa has in his entire life. Which isn’t too much because Santa only really dances the native ‘North Pole Stomp’ which is pretty much a russian dance with no partners because Russia can be a cold, dark lonely place.

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Santa heads home once again.

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Thanks to all who took part in Santa’s pub crawl. I look forward to seeing you next year. To those who didn’t make you know which list you’re on now… the one that involes coal.

I'm Pro-Samurai Sword Control.

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England and Whales plan to ban Samurai swords after nearly 80 Samurai attacks in the past few years, killing at least five people. I guess I was under the false impression that only a Samurai could obtain a Samurai sword? According to Wikipedia:

The katana (Samurai Sword) was typically paired with the wakizashi or shōtō, a similarly made but small sword, both worn by the members of the warrior class.

When did regular bloaks in England start killing mates with Samurai swords? And now with this ban into effect what’s a Ninja to do? I guess it’s back to grappling hooks and smoke bombs.

Who doesn't love a good a Gypsy fight?

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As I write this there are two ancient clans of Gypsy‘s in a turf war in Southern California. What’s at stake? Control of the lucrative fortunetelling trade. The gypsy’s had a fragile truce until the leader of the Stevens clan died of a sudden heart attack. The rival Merino clan smelled blood and attempted a brutal power grab:

Things were calm for months until the Stevens patriarch died of a heart attack at age 53 last May. Edward “Davie” Merino showed up at the funeral, pulling up at the cemetery in a limo with what was described as a menacingly burly chauffeur.

Merino says members of the Stevens clan attacked him and screamed, “We will make your life a living hell!” But the Stevens claim that Merino flashed a gun and threatened to “come back and kill all of you.” Both sides agree that before speeding off, Merino shouted that he wanted to make sure “the motherfucker was dead.”

As you can imagine this didn’t sit well. This all goes back to when the Merino Clan tried to setup two fortunetelling shops in Orange County which everyone knows is Stevens Clan territory. The Stevens Clan immediately demanded $500,000 up front and $5,000 a week or else. Being that they’re Gypsy’s the Merino Clan refused and both of their shops were broken into and ransacked the next day. Breaking the Old World Rules of Honor the Merino Clan went to the police and tried to press charges. The Stevens Clan backed down.

Now that the leader of the Stevens Clan is gone Edward “Davie” Merino is kicking ass and taking names.

I love a good Gypsy fight.