Behold the usefulness of the Internet. Last night I stumbled across a site that describes, in detail, several ways to possibly destroy planet Earth. You find your method of choice at ned.ucam.org.

Here’s and example:

2. Existence negated via time travel

• You will need: a time machine, heavy rock-moving equipment/explosives
• Method: Using your time machine, travel back in time just over 4,500,000,000 years to shortly (i.e. a few billenia) before the formation of the Earth. What you should find in its place is a young Sun and an accretion disc formed of the dusty/rocky material that will later become our Solar System. Find the patch of material that is likely to condense into the Earth. Now blow up, split apart and otherwise stir up the material so that it never gets a chance to come together and form the Earth. Return forwards in time in several hundred-million-year jumps, repeating the process each time so that no planet of any kind ever forms at roughly 1 AU from the Sun. If you make an error, simply go back in time and try again.
• Earth’s final resting place: When you finally return to the present day, you will be left with a largish asteroid belt where Earth should be. Alternatively, you may find that the matter has been assimilated into the bodies of other planets or the Sun.
• Current feasibility rating: 0/10. Nonsense.
• Comments: My good friend Rob rightly informs me that this course of action does not strictly speaking “destroy” the Earth – there is no actual destruction event in which the Earth goes from existing to not existing. What one ends up with instead is a universe in which the Earth does not and never did exist.Destroying Rob proved remarkably easy.

On July 4th this year NASA will attempt to shoot a 4 mile wide comet while it hurls through deep space.

“As any field geologist knows, in order to understand the object you’re looking at, you have to reach out and give it a tap with your hammer,” said mission co-investigator Donald Yeomans, of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where the mission is being managed. “In this case, we’re going to smack it with an 800-pound impactor.”

Why do you have to shoot a comet to find out the origins of the Universe? There has to be other things these Scientists could be working on; such as the common cold. I have a hard time understanding why we can put men in space but we can’t stop the common cold. Space travel has to be vastly more complex than the common cold yet here we are in 2004 and the Common Cold is unstoppable. Scientists..

The US ARMY has developed several prototype Androids it plans to use early this spring in current war zones Iraq & Afghanistan. The androids known as the Talon are not your usual bomb disposal machines instead they’re packing heat.

I see this as the beginning of the end. At first the droids are cool like Johnny-five but that doesn’t last forever. They accidentally shoot the wrong combatant and the next thing you know they turn all T2 on us and they want to enslave the human race. Just ask Staff Sgt. Santiago Tordillos:

“Putting something like this into the field, we’re about to start something that’s never been done before,” said Tordillos as he waved to the black, 2-foot-six-inch robot rolling around the carpeted floor on twin treads, an M249 machine gun cradled in its mechanical grip.

You have to believe the US ARMY knows where this is going. The robots always win this apocalyptic battles. And on top of that they usually end up destroying the sun so we either all perish or have to live underground.

Why do the scientists keep building these evil robots?