Author Archives: Nik Bronder

'Out Jogging' no longer good excuse.

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You would think after the whole ‘Laci Peterson’ story people would stop killing their wife’s and use the excuse “She went Jogging”. Turns out the odds of being killed while pregnant and jogging are staggering. After reports of running around a hotel naked and then buying a mattress the day his wife disappeared, Mark Hacking has been arrested for his wife’s disappearance/murder. Mark of course lied about everything he ever did including his acceptance into UNC’s Medical School and his desperate need for a new mattress.

All the President's Men.

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From Left to Right and what they’ve done to make this a great place to call home:

Tom Ridge: Secretary of Homeland Security – Ridge was instrumental in implementing the Homeland Security Advisory System that we as ‘Resolute Americans’ live are day to day by. Ridge plans his Terror Warnings according to the chatter that occurs every time the president’s political livelihood seems to head south.

Colin Powell: Secretary of State – Powell as you will remember is the guy who fell on his sword for the administration right in front of the United Nations. Powell is what many see as the great tragedy of the Bush administration, I just see him as a man who will never again be trusted by anyone in the world outside the Bush White House.

George W. Bush: War President – We all know this guy, he’s the one that has done nothing but stimulate the economy with tax breaks during times of war. Speaking of war, he’s seems to be a little premature in his declarations.

Donald Rumsfield: Secretary of Defense – Rumsfield is the guy who seems to think Iraq flew planes into our buildings. He also likes the idea of fighting wars without nearly enough troops.

John Ashcroft: United States Attorney General – John will do anything in the name of freedom including detain you for over a year without letting you see your lawyer. John also likes the term enemy combative.

Robert Mueller: Director of the FBI – Mueller is kind of just along for the ride. He inherited the FBI right before the 9/11 attack but he has been more than slow to adapt to the needs of the FBI.

What seems to be missing from this picture? Ahh that’s right some one from the CIA. Remember there the ones we’re supposed to blame for the intelligence failures, they’re the ones that blew the 9/11 plot and the botched the Iraq deal. Where are they on this historic day?

The End Is Near.

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Back in the day I didn’t really mind blowing $50 on Tyson Fight that was guaranteed to be over in a couple rounds but never again. This was something else. Now Tyson loses his form half way through the second round and just starts going for the big hit. Well the big hit was never really there. Danny William knocked Tyson (don’t forget the bum knee) out in the fourth round after standing up to Tyson’s early fury. This has always been the rule with Tyson if you get him past the first 3 rounds he gets this ‘What the hell am I doing’ look on his face. As if Tyson never expects anyone to get past his early onslaught. This isn’t the Tyson from Punchout, this isn’t the Badest Man on the Planet, this was a man who has been broken too many times to care anymore.