Category Archives: News

The Smurf's Learn to Duck and Cover.

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I always thought there was something too good about the village the Smurf’s lived in. I know they had Gargamel to contend with but that was manageable, carpet bombing on the other hand was unexpected. UNICEF has created a marketing campaigned aimed at frightening children raising money and awareness for the UN’s Children fund.

It opens with the Smurf’s dancing, hand in hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

The Smurf’s scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurf’s.

The video can be viewed here.

Herbert Hover wasn't so bad?

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I’m just a big fan of anyone who mentions Herbert Hoover. Preferably when they use the term Hover Flag or Hoverville.

Bill Maher An Open Message to George Bush:

“Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend–you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Listen to your Mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

“Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you’re saying: there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don’t. I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church… and Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

“But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re acatastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

“On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.”So, yes, God does speak to you. What He is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’ ”

Bill Maher

Colbert on the Iraqi Elections.

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The following is from The Daily Show’s Stephen Colbert on the Iraqi Election:

A high turnout less than fifty dead, doesn’t get any better than this…
The birth of a Democracy is like any birth, it’s not for the faint-hearted. You can’t let the panic and the hot stink of fear that fills the room distract you from the goal… pushing that thing out.
Lady Liberty may curse at you and tell you that she hates you and her eyes may go wild like a mindless animal but you stay the course. And when the still soft head of representative government emerges from the draconian stained voting both like some wet hairless rat you’ll be able to look at it and say “That’s mine, I maid that.” Even if it clearly looks Asian because at that point you can convince yourself of anything.