The 138th Football Season begins tomorrow and kicks off in full force this weekend. As many will agree, it’s been way too long since the end of last year. My top five signs that Football is upon us (in no particular order):
- School supplies are on sale.
- Baseball is halfway through the season.
- Browns fans have come back to the annual realization that they have no chance of competing in the NFC North.
- I have read 5 different ‘Preseason’ College Football periodicals.
- Pork Loin is about to become a staple of my diet.
If for some unamerican reason you didn’t recognize the man above, he is Jim Thorpe. The greatest American athlete of all time. Any man who jukes the future Supreme Allied Commander and scores a touchdown will forever be known by me as the Greatest American Athlete of All Time.
Fuck the Steelers…….and the queer scarf wearing Nittany Lions
There’s nothing queer about Jim Thorpe that’s for sure.
It is a little known fact that Jim Thorpe and Jack Johnson were actually the worlds greatest beer pong team; going undefeated for forty years until losing to a young tandem of Joe and Ted Kennedy. Historians have disputed the game however, arguing that Thorpe had worn a blinfold on a dare.
An even lesser known fact is that Bono and JFK were also beer Pong duo not to be trifled. They believed the purest form of Beer Pong could only be played by Irishmen while out to sea.
Because everyone knows if you can through a ping pong ball on a boat, you can just about throw one anywhere.
Pittspuke is going down Sunday, like Rothlisberger on a motorcycle…or like Open Line’s ratings when hosted by Bob Singleton.
Not a chance. Speaking of Bob:
http://www.beerliquors.com/buy/single_malt/singleton.htm