Dr. Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence in Italy found the skeleton of a woman with a small brick in her mouth and now he’s acting like he found the first ever vampire.  There’s so much going on here I don’t really know where to begin.  First there’s the evidence of Vampirism… a brick in the mouth of a skeleton.  Of course the logic behind this was that the vampires by eating theirs shirts were spreading the plague across Europe.  Being as it was the vampires had to be stopped and the only way was to shove a brick in a dead vampires mouth which would prevent them from ever eating another shirt.  Makes sense to me.

So back to Dr. Borrini, he claims that he found the first ever vampire corpse in Venice while excavating mass graves of plague victims from the Middle Ages.  His evidence of course is the brick in the mouth you see in the photo above.  Not so fast Dr. Borrini,  Professor Peer Moore-Jansen of Wichita State University calls bullshit.  Not on the fact that this skull that just so happens to have a brick in it’s mouth thereby proving the deceased is a vampire.  No Professor Moore-Jansen claims claims he’s been finding vampires in Poland for years.

“While Borrini’s finding is exciting, claiming it as the first vampire is a little ridiculous.”

– Professor Peer Moore-Jansen

I tend to agree with Professor Moore-Jansen because I like my archaeologists without ponytails: